Human voice is the most powerful sound in the universe, known so far. It is so powerful because it can declare war and it can express love, so extreme and opposite results.
How often do we find ourselves in a position when we notice people not paying attention to what we are speaking? More so when it's important to us to get the message across. I would say most of us have been in this situation at least once or perhaps many times. At some point, each of us needs to convince another person of an idea. "We provide the best training services in India (pun intended); please invest in our mutual fund its just so good. It is the best insurance please buy; I am the best groom for you.."
But before we can convince, the other party has to listen. In a world that's full of commotion, it's easy for our message to get drowned out. How do we speak so that others want to listen? Here is a small yet powerful tool tip for you.
7 types of communication mistakes we must avoid
The common habits that will push your audience away:
1. Gossips/backbiting
"Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us."
Negative gossip quickly slips into slander, a dangerous and destructive habit. As Eleanor Roosevelt splendidly put it: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
2. Forming opinions and judging
"...it's very difficult to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time."
Society has fostered a culture of judgment. Just look at the comments following any controversial news article, where dozens (or hundreds) have launched incessant attacks on those with opinions that differ from theirs.
3. Negativity
"My grandmother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, 'I have to go to Delhi today for work,' and she said, 'I know, isn't it dreadful?'"
If you thrive on spewing out negativity, knowingly or unknowingly, you'll find others gradually running away. It may be a time for self-reflection
4. Complaining
My father, who hails from one of the comparatively backward state in India, told me one day:
"Well, complaining is in or blood". It's our state sport. We complain about the weather, road, about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world."
It only prevents us and other to listen and act. It gives a conclusion to all problems. "It was and always remain the same".
5. Excuses
"We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blame-thrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility for their actions."
Excuses don't really help anyone, certainly not ourselves. If you've made a mistake, the quickest way to get someone to listen is to begin with, "I'm sorry. I'd like to make this right."
6. Exaggeration and boasting
"[Exaggeration] demeans our language...For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it? And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us."
Speaking on a platform only magnifies the consequences of exaggeration.
7. Dogmatism
"The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind."
When you're dogmatic, you shut out qualities such as reason and open-mindedness. This only turns listeners away.
The Foundation of Good Speaking
Next, there are four powerful cornerstones on which to build our speaking. Together, they form the acronym "HAIL", which is fittingly defined as "to greet or acclaim enthusiastically," which is how...our words will be received if we stand on these four things."
They are:
Honesty: Be true, straight and clear in what you say.
Authenticity: Be yourself.
Integrity: Be your word. Do what you say. Be someone you can trust.
Love: Wish others well.
It's extremely hard to ignore a message that follows these four principles.
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